Parental leave for dad means more support for mom and more time to bond with the baby, U of A fathers say
University moms – and dads – can take 12 weeks of paid leave plus 12 weeks of optional unpaid leave. That amounts to six months of leave per employee.
This is the sixth and final in a series of articles that follows the writer on her and her partner's parenthood journey. Past stories have explored the University's parental leave policy, shared parenting advice from faculty and staff, introduced new lactation spaces on campus, shared expert tips for developing a child's language skills and looked at how to navigate conversation about climate change with kids.
In January 2022, the length of the University of Arizona's parental leave policy was expanded to provide 12 weeks of paid leave, as opposed to six, as well as 12 weeks of optional unpaid leave, during which employees can use their accrued sick, vacation and comp time. In total, this translates to a potential six months of leave per employee to bond with a newborn during their first year of life or with a new child during their first year with a family, as the policy extends to foster placement, legal guardianship and surrogacy. It also is available to those who experience a stillbirth.
Mikayla Mace Kelley and her husband, Connor Kelley, found out they were expecting their first child while on a work trip to Washington, D.C.
This spring, the University Initiatives and Policy office, in conjunction with Human Resources and Payroll, pulled data from 354 employees to see how people were using the policy between January 2022 and September 2023. They examined the number of reported parental leave hours – both paid and unpaid – and looked at parental leave use by sex.
They found more women used the parental leave than men (62% vs. 38%, respectively). For comparison, the university workforce is 57% female and 43% male, as of the fall 2023 census.
They also found that women used about two more weeks of parental leave than men, on average, and only a handful of employees used the full 24 weeks of combined paid and unpaid leave available.
I spoke with my husband, Connor Kelley, and other dads across campus about how and why they used their parental leave.
Connor, a senior program coordinator for the Department of Pediatrics, took three months of leave followed by two months of part-time work. I did the same. Because of the nature of his work, he was able to put his projects on hold while out of the office.
Connor Kelley, senior program coordinator for the Department of Pediatrics, holds his son, Milo, during parental leave in January 2023.
"We both wanted to take three months off at the same time so we could be together as a family," he said. "Then, we chose to take two months part time to ease back into work and help Milo adjust to time away from us."
If I'd had more vacation and sick time to apply to leave, we likely would have taken more time off together. No matter the length of time, however, being able to spend so much time to bond and understand our newborn and how he communicated his needs was crucial.
In the long run, this helped balance out the workload of raising a kid, Connor said.
"Also, it was nice to be there for you when you were recovering from your C-section," Connor told me. "Plus, you and I just enjoyed having that time together."
For Thomas Harris, senior associate athletics director for belonging and engagement, and his spouse, Alex Robie Harris, spent three months at home with their newborn. After three months, he went back to work, and Alex stayed home for three more months. When she went back, he took leave for one more month.
Thomas Harris, senior associate athletics director for belonging and engagement, and his daughter, Adalynn.
"This allowed me to return to work during a time of change in Athletics while also granting us seven months of not having to do child care, which is a big savings, obviously, but also gave our daughter seven months to be around her parents 24/7," Harris said. "I thought that was a great idea for her development."
During the last few months when one parent was home with their baby, they eased her into day care before they both returned to work full time.
"Those three months are something that I'll never forget," Harris said. "Being home during that time for me was huge because I was able to pitch in so much."
He could easily change his baby's diapers in the middle of the night without worrying about work in the morning and spent the time building a strong bond with his daughter, he said.
"After talking to guys who've had babies in the past about how they had a month off, or six weeks, or two weeks, and then hearing the struggles that their partner went through, I wanted to make sure that we got Alex off on the best foot possible. Me being with her for that time really helped with that. I didn't want Alex to carry that mental burden on top of the physical burden alone. And I think our connection grew even stronger."
Brad Contento, communications manager for Human Resources, and his daughter, Arlette.
Brad Contento, communications manager for Human Resources, was working outside the university when he and his wife had their first child. He said he put pressure on himself to make his leave short. He ended up taking three weeks of leave despite having the option to take more.
"I remember thinking, I should have taken more," he said. "So when my second kid was born in February 2022, I took five weeks off, then worked part time for about two months to ease back into it."
This time off was crucial, Contento said, because of their older child. He spent most of his time with his son while his spouse cared for their newborn daughter.
Also, being able to support his wife was also one of the biggest benefits of the time off, he said.
"Even when health is optimal, it's exhausting," Contento said. "We took turns with the baby. My wife was able to sleep in the middle of the night while I held the baby, and that was necessary. I don't know how anyone does it alone."
Dan Martinez, distinguished scholar and associate professor, School of Sociology
Dan Martinez, a distinguished scholar and associate professor in the School of Sociology and a co-director of the Binational Migration Institute in the Department of Mexican American Studies, offered a unique perspective as a faculty member.
He didn't use parental leave at all after his two children were born.
While it varies across campus, full-time equivalency, or FTE, status for faculty members in the School of Sociology comes out to 50% research, 40% teaching and 10% service, which translates to two classes in the fall and two classes in the spring, Martinez said.
After his first child was born, he used temporary alternative duty assignment, or TADA, to modify his workload distribution.
"I used my TADA to create a new criminology minor program, and it has been an overwhelming success. We have over 400 declared criminology minors now," Martinez said. "I stayed at home with my kid and would work during naps and at night when she was still relatively young."
While Martinez is grateful that the university expanded the parental leave policy, he feels that many faculty members – especially assistant professors who are working to build their tenure package – opt for TADA instead.
He understands why. "I didn't want to have someone else teach my class for most of the semester only for me to show up for a few weeks at the end to wrap it up," he said.
Across the board, all the dads I spoke to said they encourage others to take as much time as they need for themselves and their families.
"Work will always be there. But your kids, at all stages, come and go so quickly," Martinez said.
Taking the time you need also helps set an example to other dads that leave is not something to feel guilty about.
"Being a part of Athletics, I thought it was important to show other guys that it's OK to take the time, it's going to be fine," Harris said.
He also suggested that parents consider taking a week or two off before a child arrives in order to prepare.
Contento suggests that people coming back part time intentionally maintain the boundaries of their schedules.
"If I had to do it again, I would just take more full time off," he said. "I feel like I left a benefit on the table, HR would have supported it, and I think the world would not have ended. I want to add another voice of support to just take the time off."
Lastly, Kelley and Contento both said, half-jokingly, to have your kid in the winter, because it's harder to get out of the house with a newborn in the summer.