Are you a caregiver and don't know it? The university has support for you

This story is the first in a series on caregiving and employee support.

Nationally, 63 million Americans are caregivers – yet only about 19% identify themselves as such. At the University of Arizona, with over 16,000 employees, this likely means thousands of colleagues are providing significant care and may be missing out on valuable support and resources.

The reason is familiar: the work doesn't feel like "caregiving." It feels like being a good daughter, a devoted spouse, a dependable sibling. 

After more than 25 years working with family caregivers – from hospice and nursing homes to supporting U of A employees – I recognize this hesitation immediately. For many families and cultures, caregiving is understood as a family obligation, not a separate role – and asking for outside help can feel like a betrayal of that duty. Whether they use the term or not, the reality is the same: They are giving their time, energy, emotion and sometimes their finances to someone in their life. The word doesn't change what the work is.

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That was true for Sarah*, a U of A employee who came to a Human Resources Life and Work Connections consultation describing her days: rushing to her mother's house at 6 a.m. to check on her after a fall, rearranging afternoon meetings to drive her to the neurologist, staying up past midnight fighting with insurance companies over denied claims. On top of all of that, she assists her brother with autism in navigating his job coaching services and social activities.

"I'm not really a caregiver," she insisted. "I'm just helping out."

During my caregiving consultation with Sarah, I asked a simple question: If you couldn't do all of this tomorrow, who would step in and know exactly what to do?

Sarah paused. Nobody else knew her mother's medications, understood the insurance maze, or could coordinate her brother's services. Hearing herself describe the scope of her role out loud made it real. After providing her with university and local resources, within a month, Sarah arranged flexible work hours for appointment days and connected with other employee caregivers who understood her experience.

"I didn't realize how alone I felt," she said, "until I talked to someone else juggling the same things."

Caregiving looks different than most people expect

I repeatedly hear the same things in my consultations with employees. Caregiving often includes scheduling medical appointments and managing insurance across multiple systems, researching treatment options, being the go-to person during health crises, supporting someone with memory changes, and coordinating services for a family member with a disability or chronic condition.

If you're regularly doing two or more of these things for a family member, you're not "just helping." You're caregiving.

Employees share that they handle a variety of responsibilities, from managing a parent's cancer treatment while raising teenagers to coordinating care for a spouse with Parkinson's or assisting an adult child navigating mental health services. Different circumstances, same question: "Am I really a caregiver?"

You don't have to figure it out alone

When employees acknowledge their caregiver role, remarkable things happen. They gain confidence in healthcare settings. They start using workplace benefits they didn't know existed. They connect with other caregivers who understand their daily reality. Most importantly, they stop carrying everything by themselves.

As one employee put it: "Accepting that I'm a caregiver didn't change my husband's diagnosis or my daughter's needs. But it changed how I approached everything. I stopped thinking I had to figure it all out alone. It made the impossible feel manageable."

HR Life and Work Connections offers free, confidential consultations, whether you're thinking ahead, starting to notice changes in a loved one, or already managing complex care day-to-day.

If you recognize yourself as a caregiver – with or without the title – I can connect you with resources that are most relevant to your particular situation. To learn more, reach out to me at lifework@arizona.edu or 520-621-2493.